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When you plan for holiday entertaining in your home, be kind to yourself. You may have to adapt your home, menu, schedule and family traditions in order to make a comfortable environment for your grandchild with autism. Think about how you can meet your family’s needs and set realistic expectations. Establish new traditions, forgive yourself if the holiday is not “perfect,” stick to your routine and be consistent. Afterwards, no one will remember what was on the table. They will remember who was at the table and how much they enjoyed being together.
- Prepare children with visual social stories ahead of time to help them anticipate the holiday activities. Write the schedule of activities so the child is aware of the sequence of events. Use drawings or cut out pictures for smaller children to help them understand what to expect. Discuss the schedule many times before the event.
- Reduce the child’s anxieties about being with unfamiliar relatives by sharing photographs on display in your home or videos of the people and homes where the holidays will be celebrated before the events.
- Consider attaching a camera to your computer and to out-of-town relatives’ computers so children can utilize the Internet (SKYPE) to develop relationships with family members who live long distances away
- If possible, plan to attend smaller parties that are easier for children. Do not overstay, it may cause problems for the child and others. You may want to drive in two cars so that one parent can leave early if the child is distressed. Put the needs of the child first.
- Bring a favorite quiet toy like a calculator or stuffed animal for the child. Headphones or earplugs may also be helpful to moderate noise and activity levels around the child.
- Teach your child not to touch things. Ask the party host to remove breakables from reach.
- Visit stores, Santa or holiday displays at times when they are not crowded. Consider enjoying Santa or the sites as a “drive by” experience first because that can be less threatening than actually going there. If possible, gradually increase the time you spend shopping together until the child becomes comfortable with the routine and environment. Be sure to give small rewards for good behavior like staying close to you.
- Introduce holiday foods months or weeks before during snack times. Watch cooking shows and prepare some of the special recipes together. If eating habits or special diets are a concern, eat before leaving home or bring special foods with you.
- Share "your strategy" with the family so they can be part of the support group. Plan family activities such as cookie decorating, Bingo, singing, sidewalk chalk play, bubbles, games or other activities where everyone, young and old, may participate together.
- Plan an alternative activity or a quiet place for the child who may seek respite time.
- Reward children who are especially inclusive of the child with autism.
GIFT GIVING TIPS
- Shop by catalog or online with children so they can help to select and anticipate what gifts they will receive.
- Consider giving gifts one at a time, before and after the holiday, when there is less noise, fewer distractions and more time for the child to focus on the toys and other presents.
- Children with autism do not typically like surprises: Wrap gifts in clear cellophane or place a picture of the gift from the catalog on the attached gift card. Avoid noisy or glitzy wrapping paper.
"PRICELESS" GIFT SUGGESTIONS FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND FOR ALL OCCASIONS
Volunteer your help or bring in treats to your grandchildren’s classrooms
Provide respite childcare so that parents can spend time together Help with housekeeping chores, i.e. laundry, cleaning, pet sitting
Take a grandchild to a regularly scheduled appointment or class
Entertain siblings to enable more time for child with parents
Freeze individual homemade meals for use when needed
Offer your home for a family holiday or birthday party
Invite grandchildren for sleepovers at your home
Take your grandchild to the library weekly
Offer to do carpools for a week or more
Arrange for a play date in your home
Take your grandchild on a picnic
GIFT SUGGESTIONS FOR ANY BUDGET
Host birthday parties at local sites or offer to rent inflatable equipment at home
Give an annual family membership to a favorite museum, acquarium, etc.
Certificates for manicures, pedicures, massages or other spa services
Coupons for restaurants, fast foods or meals delivered at home
Gift cards for hobby/craft stores or for classes or supplies
Sponsor a family day at the zoo or an amusement park
Gift cards for department, electronic or book stores.
Support school lunch costs for a month or more
Sponsor a needed service, activity or program
Music lessons or other enrichment classes
Movie tickets and money for refreshments
Tickets for plays, concerts, sports events
Fund a housekeeper for a day or more
Purchase health club memberships
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